Jenkabala Stomach Churner - Goodbye 2012, Hello Brunch

Well, 2012 is a memory. I didn't really get to check out many new releases this year, and definitely not  enough for a top ten. So Demon Scourge and myself got together one bleak afternoon, ate some savage hell waffles, and checked some albums that figured quite predominately in many a blogger's top ten list. Shall we waltz down the corpse laden aisle of 2012?

So, in typical metal night fashion, our last post of 2012 has turned into the first post of 2013. As we enter into this new year (almost two years of metal Mondays!) I'd like to take a second out of our serialized tale of adventure and thank everybody who came to our little Monday night gathering. For me it has been an amazing time as Bloodmace and I, along with many of you reading this, embarked on an in depth study of heavy metal and it's galaxy of subdivisions and permutations. As you know, I have, since last October, been writing a fantasy tale that includes a character for each person who comes to the Monday night study sessions. In order to understand the world of Centon and the beings who populate it I have begun to catalog the characters, place names and creatures that populate this strange timepiece world. I have linked to pics of all guests that have been transformed into mystical warriors.

Until next week heroes of the underground,

Horns 

Baron Lotar - Commander of Keep Vorn, Lotar is known as a cruel tyrant who sends patrols of boar headed soldiers to enslave lone travelers who wander too close. Was with Vorthon's group of metal warriors when they revived Bloodmace, Demon Scourge and the rest.

Battle Paw the Mini-Beast - Feline familiar of Demon Scourge. Can travel freely between all dimensions.

Blun the Magnificent - Waylorian emperor who was possessed by a great puritanical fury and destroyed many ancient texts and relics. He leveled the library of Archibald Crane and destroyed Bloodmace's ancestral home under Mount Raven.

Clan Parth - Humans living along the River Trimpor in southern Samur. Enslaved by the Sauroped during the rule of the Wyverns.

Dantor - The chaos dimension, ruled by Headron

Dion -Unit of Centonian money, controlled by the Wyverns and the bankers of Jenkabala.

 Testament-Dark Roots of the Earth-This is a mothertrucking fucker of an album, and is Testament's best album with the possible exception of The Legacy. Testament have always been slagged as Metallica clones, but Metallica have not been this crushing since the mid 80's. This pisses all over Death Magnetic. Riff after riff bowls you over, while the intricacy of the arrangements and the deadly precision of the musicianship impresses the fucking shit out of you. There is a goddamn thrash ballad on this album, an actual cocksucking motherfucking bastard of a cold hearted ballad, the best ballad in all of thrashdom. Alex Skolnick guitar solos are like miniature classical masterpieces. Somebody lit a fire under the ass of this band, man. Every band's lead singer should survive cancer if they are going to write albums this good. Metal Night album of the year.

Gatemaster - There are two Gatemasters on Centon, Heliwanj in the south and Mistress Crowbastard in the north. Before the coming of Headron, they were the only way to access the alternate dimensions Centon is connected to.

Hellmaster - Royal heir of Clan Parth (Parth Ka-Taw was his former name) in northern Jenkabala, Hellmaster was exiled and subsequently built Castle Thrashstone in the Time Desert after learning a secret form of hermetic magic on his travels. Travels with Lady Deathcrush. Killed by Demon Scourge at castle Thrashstone at the end of the second age

Hell Wraith - Cryptophysicist who reverse engineered the Tauriat while studying the texts of Hellmaster with Vorthon the Whip of Fate in the ruined Castle Thrashstone. Invented the dimensional guitar to call beyond the realms of death and please the ears of the most elder gods of Centon.

Karn - Boar-like beasts that inhabit Witches Valley and southern Samur

Keep Trawston - The castle of Lady Steel. Home to the largest free market in all of Waylor. Stands east of Mount Tarvo on the Trawston plains.

Keep Vorn - Home of Baron Lotar, noted tyrant. Located in the northernmost part of Waylor, it serves as a kind of border crossing.

Lady Deathcrush - Travels with Hellmaster. Deathcrush assisted in the first contact with the Wyvern and was one of the heroes who perished when Demon Scourge killed the first group of metal warriors at Castle Thrashstone. Brought back to life by Vorthon the Whip of Fate and the second guard of metalheads.

Lady Steel - Mistress of the Trawston Plains and some lands to the south and east. Ruler of a warrior cult that protects refugees from the nearby tyrants.

Master Raknar - Master of a pleasure dungeon in Jenkabala City's Docktown area. Guided Bloodmace and Demon Scourge through the Sunam forest in their first encounter with the Wyvern.

Moloch the Painter - Mad artist from southern coastal Waylor. Helped to bring back the titans with the second wave of metal warriors.

Mount Raven - Mountain in southern Waylor where Bloodmace made his home before it was destroyed by Blun the Magnificent. Vorthon the Whip of Fate was trained in the dark arts there.

Mount Tarvo - Mountain in northern Waylor where the body of Bloodhammer was buried when he was imprisoned in another dimension. Second tallest in the Waylorian range

Panopticon-Kentucky- Damn!! This was also an amazing album, and a milestone for black metal, the first successful melding of black metal and bluegrass, which would also make it a truly American folk metal album. While their previous efforts were somewhat meandering explorations of the burgeoning genre of ecological minded black metal, (kind of like Krallice with ADD), this is a more streamlined and focused concept album about Kentucky coal miners. Straight up bluegrass and folk songs are placed side by side with progressive minded scorchers, and more than occasionally do the twain meet in the same song. This is one of those genre creating albums, but definitely one that should be approached with an open mind. Satan is no where to be found on this album. Or is he?

Nactan the Wanderer - Bloodmace and Demon Scourge met him on the way to Witches' Valley. Electronics Wizard. Accompanied the first group of metal warriors on the first quest for the Wyvern.

River Trimpor - Runs through Witches Valley, North of Jenkabala. Home of the Sauron and Clan Parth.

Samur - The area to the north of Jenkabala. Home of the Wyvern elders, the T'Chah Karnac, Iron Dan, Ophelia Skullbourne, and Fester Blackheart. Often referred to as the "soul of Centon," Samur is home to many cults and secret societies. Lake Chawa is a well known mystic training area due to its unusually high concentration of geomagical stones. Samur City is one of Centon's oldest continuously occupied settlement, though most of the north is a freezing wasteland. Birthplace of the denim and leather armor worn by Bloodmace, Demon Scourge, Mistress Crowbastard and Lars the Berserker.

Sourwood Trees - The oldest living things on Centon. Tremendous trees, some very ancient. It is said that a whole other world exists in the upper canopy. They grow all over the north of Centon, but mostly in Samur.

Tauriat - Device used to detect the ever changing dimensional fault lines in the Time Desert. Also can be used to detect certain kinds of magical traps. Consists of a greenish crystal suspended in a frame of polished alloy. Glows when near s source of power. Those able to read it's subtle oscillations can determine the distance of any potential danger.

Thantor the Bard, Poet of Antov - A poet who became a leader of caravans across the Time Desert, Thantor was lured into Castle Thrashstone by Vorthon after the death of the first generation of metal warriors. Joining Vorthon on his quest to resurrect Bloodmace, Demon Scourge and the rest, he was killed in a battle on the Trawston Plains.

Theeba - Large four legged lizards with pearlescent scales, raised as beasts of burden in Waylor for their ability to cling to the rocky terrain. Standing upwards of seven feet tall, they are also frequently used for military duty.

Time Desert - An area between Jenkabala and Waylor that runs from the Artana sea in the west to the Sarlonian ocean in the east, bisecting the continent with a swath of wasteland that runs about 400 earth miles north and south. This is the place where Headron first tried to burst into the physical world and was stopped by Bloodhammer and Thandra. Later the site of Castle Thrashstone, home first to the royal son of Clan Parth, Ka-Taw. Exiled by his people, he built the castle and changed his name to Hellmaster. After his death at the hands of Demon Scourge, the castle was inhabited by Vorthon the Whip of Fate and Hell Wraith. The Time Desert is also an area of dimensional storms that can swallow unwary travelers almost without warning.

Tolar the Mystic - A shape shifting denizen of the underworld, Tolar the Mystic always appears in different bodies. He (or she as the case may be) often speaks in riddles.

Vorthon the Whip of Fate - A mystic who took up residence in Castle Thrashstone after Demon Scourge killed his party there and partially destroyed it. Gathered together the second band of metal warriors and successfully revived all members of of Demon Scourge's ill fated party.

Yerda - Monsters found in the caves of northern Jenkabala. Humanoid in form, they hunt by sending one of the pack to engage in a battle. The rest feed on the psychic energy, then when the warrior is exhausted, the pack swoops down to finish them.

Zodron the Minstrel - Companion of Bloodmace and Demon Scourge, Headron of Dantor possessed his body and tried to destroy them, sending them on an epic quest.

Pallbearer-Sorrow and Extinction-I'm not to sure about this one. It was on the top practically every list that I read, but ol' Demon Scourge and myself just weren't feeling it that night. It's not a bad album, and I do love me some funeral doom, but music at 6 miles an hour just wasn't what we wanted to hear. This is pure Sabbath, Vitus, and Cathedral worship, but I would just as soon listen to those bands. Then again, this may be the kind of album that seeps into your brain and takes you over after the 4th listen. Otherwise, it's way overrated.