Alas, tonight was a night of weirdos, anomalous entities blasting the metal scape with their quirkiness and individuality. None of these bands fit neatly into any trend or genre, existing, for better or worse, on the merits of their quirkiness and willingness to experiment.
Saga of the Gatemaster Part 11.1 – Grandma’s Sleeping
Vorthon the Whip of Fate rested on a gnarled tree. Much had
transpired since he had been summoned from the realm of Tolar the Mystic, and
as he looked out over the Trawston plains his thoughts began to drift. The path
to the cursed peak of Mount Tarvo was too narrow for their theeba to travel once one the final ascent to the rocky summit begins.Vorthon, along with Lady steel,
Hell Wraith, Baron Lotar, and Moloch the Painter were forced to leave their
beasts with the priestesses of Keep Trawston, who had established a base camp
in the Tarvo foothills while the rest of the party returned
to Keep Vorn,
castle of Baron Lotar.There, they retrieved the mystical instruments Hell
Wraith developed in the Time Desert to call back the titans Bloodmace, Demon
Scourge and Hellmaster. During the journey, Moloch the Painter taught the
others the music he would chant over to bring back the lost masters. The
rhythms they had to understand were fast and pummeling. Every night they played and
studied until the shadow of Mount Tarvo blotted out the sun and they came to the place Lady Steel called camp Arbon. Her adepts had been there setting up camp while they traveled to Lotar's lair and the base was already well equipped. They rested
two nights while Hell Wraith finished his work on the instruments and their
small amplifiers. On the third day, Moloch gathered them together. “Tonight we
will practice our chant. If we are to even hope to have success on Tarvo, we
should see some ripples in the dimensional field. When we perform this in the
place of power, it will be very dangerous so we should all know what to
expect.” Indeed, as the infamous artist
predicted, the disturbance was strong and clear. Tents collapsed, some theeba
were driven mad with fear and fled into the hills and all had a sense of the
areas on the periphery of their vision disappearing into the inky night. The
voice of Hell Wraith shakes Vorthon from his daydream. “Hai! Are you alright
back there?” Starting on his way, the grizzled desert mystic calls back “Yes,
my friend. Just resting for a moment.” Smiling at the weird physicist who is
peeking his head around the switchback, Vorthon adds, “Our plans are almost
complete. We may save Jenkabala Palace after all.”
Take Behold.........The Arctopus. This is a metal band like no other. Their 2006 demo and EP compilation,Nano Nucleonic Cyborg Summoning, is the best example of their work. It is much more scalding than their only full length, Skulgrid, which comes across as a bit sterile. This is instrumental math metal that takes just as much inspiration from Schoenberg as Megadeth or Morbid Angel. Every song is a dense and nearly impenetrable, an atonal, and nearly a rhythmic, puzzle that takes multiple listens to sort out. Most intriguing is the use of the Warr guitar, a 12 string nightmare weapon of incalculable musical destruction. Each player, though, is a virtuoso at their instrument, making this a rewarding listen for those open minded enough to look beyond mere power chords, the key of E minor, and even the formulas of out there of tech death bands.A high brow delight.
Saga
of the Gatemaster part 11.2 – Lost Wisdom
That night, after camp was set the party began to plan for
the last part of their journey. Vorthon entertained everyone with a box of
thrash cassettes he discovered in the vaults of Castle Thrashstone. Onslaught,
Agent Steel, Running Wild, all were sampled by the weary travelers. As each
selection played, Vorthon regaled the group with what lore he had memorized of
each artist. Lady Steel, who had once again been debating Lotar on
philosophical matters, was moved by this display and produced a bottle of
Trawston brandy. As the soft echoes of those forgotten songs reached the peak
of Mount Tarvo something was already stirring in the air. A soft chuckle,
almost a growl answered the opening riff of Power from Hell. Bloodmace was
listening
From nearly the opposite end of cultural specterum are grindcore pioneers OLD aka Old Lady Drivers. Their first self titled album a grab bag of quirky, smutty grindcore insanity. The surprising thing about this band is that they are not a bunch of kids learning their instruments on their way to being a death metal band, but proficient musicians with an almost Zappa-esque take on grindcore. This is one of the most enjoyable grindcore albums, almost accessible, without ever really becoming a mere novelty band. Winner of the night, if my foggy memory serves me right. We are soooooooooo behind!
Lastly, we heard Norwegian folk metal progenitors Storm and their 1995 album Nordavind. Though this band has only one release, its a highly influential album comprised entirely of metalized Norwegian folk songs. My only problem with the album is that I've since heard better. The vocals, cleanly sung, come across sounding like the goddamn Swedish Chef at times. But there was nothing quite like this in 1995. When it works, it is epic and stirring, a fine soundtrack for raping and pillaging the coasts of Western Europe in the AD 865 or so.
Words of the Elders
Like a beacon in the fog, the sound of the
sacred music has already drawn the attention of the dreaming titans, but
unknown to the brave party, the Gatemaster has also heard their call and it
lurks already in the icy mists. The moment of truth has finally come upon
Vorthon and the others. In the cold light of morning, the invocation will
begin, the gate will open again and what forces may be released we can only
guess. IA! Let us praise the gods of the
starways whose icy grip reaches out from beyond time to smite the peak of Mount Tarvo with its deadly tentacles! 
Until next week, toad lickers,
Horns
