At the Heart of Winter - Frostbitten Black Metal and an Underground Excursion

Welcome to the Polar Vortex, the freeznado of weather anomalies. Heaped upon the deep chilled earth lay the cryogenic dead, waiting to suck out the warmth of the living. Lots of weak poseurs are crying about the weather lately, but not here at the Jenkabala Winter Palace . When the sub-arctic comes to our doorstep, we break out the blizzard blitz of ultra cold black metal and eat ice cream sandwiches made of babies and kittens. We don't cry about nothin', unless there are tears of blood to be shed.

First up, Immortal's frozen classic At The Heart of Winter got the evening off in the right way. This is one of Immortal's finest hours, a mighty frost blast of hyper riffs made of jagged ice crystals. Ok, I'm running out of cheap winter imagery, so I'll stop. With this album, Immortal upped the production values and added a more death metal like riff attack. No longer content with mere blasting noise, there is a degree of dynamics not previously seen on previous albums. The songs are more complex, and there is an element of clean guitars added at various intervals. The songs gallop, blast, occasionally crawl, but always destroy with maximum fuck force.  This album is a certified black metal classic and is the unanimous winner of the fuckin' night.

 Into the Necro Lands Part 4.1 - Solarfall

Computer screens were glowing, providing the only illumination in the underground room. Long consoles, full of blinking lights and monitor displays tinted the air red and green while cloaked figures whose faces were covered by smooth reflective masks typed and calculated, oblivious to our presence. Tesa, Birdblood, Losi, Bloodmace and I were lying where we had fallen into this room from the frozen lake above. "My people, as you may know, relied heavily on biotechnology during our reign as kings of Centon." Chanthoth had donned his long green robe and spoke to us as, one by one, we began to stand. "As you can see, I have reactivated this command post and grown some

humanoids to labor for me. Slowly, I will reopen the transport roots that run the length of Centon." Bloodmace, studying one of the consoles, turned to Canthoth, "Yes, that would certinaly be helpful for shghtseeing. Perhaps you long to glimpse the world before your cycle ends, or maybe you have visions of marching a humanoid army upon this realm while all on the surface are fighting one another?" A sly smile crosses the face of the weird wizard as he criosses the room and punches some buttons on one of the control surfaces, "As you can see," He says, pointing to the largest monitor on the wall, "The forces of Necro Baby and Iron James are closing in on you above. I would hate to be forced to eject you from this sanctuary and into their hands. Do we understand one another?" On the screen, we can see a mass of undead troops scouring the area, along with the horrid deadcats and their boar-faced keepers. "You have been a friend to us in the past Chanthoth, and we wish only to hear your words." The calmness and confidence in my voice startled me. I had never been well spoken in times of crisis and even now my heart raced at the thought of a battle with the forces of black magic that sought us above, "You already know the place we seek passage to, so tell us, can you aid our quest?" The robed mystic turns with a chuckle and calls out to us as he strides through a secret passage that opens behind him with a hiss of air, "But of course, my friends. Follow me, there is someone here who can help you better than I."

 If you name your band Grim Funeral, then perhaps you may be setting yourself up for caricature and self parody. But the band's 2008 debut Grim Funeral To The Soul Of This World, is a satisfying nugget of necrotic black metal. The Catalonian one man band  is dank, depressive, caustic, and bleak; sounding like every other dank, depressive, caustic, bleak one man black metal band, except that the songwriting is competent, and the performance compelling. It manages to capture a singular atmosphere, an anomaly in the event horizon of evil. I recommend this fist fuck for discriminating tastes.

 Into the Necro Lands Part 4.2 - Incantation of He Who Sleeps

Bloodmace and I had seen some of the wonders of the T'Chah Karnac's mastery at the art of blending together biotechnology and black magic when we met Chanthoth after our resurrection on Mount Tarvo, so the transport root did not surprise us, though it was impressive. The root system was

something of a living highway, growing deep underground. From inside this tremendous organism, the T'chah Karnac could traverse the length and breadth of Centon without fear of detection. Created in their secret labs, the plant responded to a combination of electronic signals from the microprocessors that develop in the brain of each T'Chah at adulthood and incantations passed down from time immemorial. In this way, they were able to manipulate the form of this being they had engineered, creating passages to the surface world at will. Losi, Birdblood and Tesa were marveling at the bizarre passage as we followed Chanthoth. Our unusual benefactor turned to them and explained, "The root is covered with luminous fungi and insects, all the sections I have repaired are now lit. Birdblood, are you familiar with the Haaskupf Wood?" The flame-haired avian noble nods her head and repies, "Yes, this is the place where the necro forces launched their raid on the

Nest of Evil." We arrive at a fork in the root and our robed guide follows the smaller passage that veers to the right. He looks back at Birdblood and replies, "That is the furthest I have been able to complete my work in this direction. You will have to battle your way in from there." As we walk further, there is a noise in the distance that becomes louder and more intelligible. There is a bright light ahead, emanating from a doorway on the right side. Chanthoth addresses us again, "You will need help, I have called upon the Samurian Punx." we approach the door and peering in, I behold our old friends Opheilia Skullbourne and Fester Blackheart. Behind a drum kit, Opheilia bashes away maniacally while fester, abusing a mossy demon guitar, is screaming into a fungus blossom that rises from the floor.

Oddly disappointing was Blood of Kingu's 2nd album, Sun In The House Of The Scorpion. While bleak ionosphere of pain and suffering. The sound is more epic, the riffs broader, but they lack fierceness and sheer occult wierdness of the previous offering. If I were you, I'd check out De Occulta Philosophia, and skip this one.
their first album is a classic of hypnotic evil and unholy repetition, this album offers nothing new.

Frozen by Icewinds - Grim Black Metal and MDF Report Part Three

You charge through the tundra, but the sun-zero temps is getting to you. First to go are your fingers. They are blackened stumps for the wolves to chew upon. Then your toes. then your nose. Finally, a light in the distance! You stumble through the waist deep snow and knock on the door of the cabin. Corpse painted youths answer the door. You see bones and signs of occult ritual behind them. As you enter the doorway, you feel the axe sever your spine. The black metal necro fiends are ready to feed. Welcome to Norway, motherfucker. It's Metal Night!

First off we heard one of the most devastating black metal albums of all time, Immortal's Pure Holocaust. With thunderous percussion and tremolo swirls does this album dominate the mighty frostlands, nay, I say all the lands that touch ice and sun!!!!! Immortal have a knack for making a three piece, actually a two piece at this time, sound like an invading army of ghouls. And, oh my, is it fast; the tempos are quite rigid and disciplined. This is the sound of the Nordic work ethic destroying Protestants and burning their churches to the ground for Odin. These boys work hard......FOR EVIL!!!! Winner of the bloody night, by a pubic hair.

Gorgoroth's Destroyer, Or How Tom Philosophize With A Hammer, ripped through the speakers with the force of a 1000 galloping hell horses, the self titled first track nearly falling about into noise

before being held in by a wicked riff half way through. These fiends seek no quarter in their quest for the evilest sounds possible. The second and third tracks, Open The Gates and The Devil The Sinner And His Journey, were less rabidly confrontation and more composed, laying bare the cold sonic architecture. This album seems to have as many guest stars as The Tonight Show. Gaahl, the world's most frightening gay man, make an appearance on the first track, as well as necro-fiends Frost and Pest. Overall, a pleasingly grave violating album for the discriminating pervert.

Speaking of Gaahl, the last album we heard was his pre-Gorgoroth/God Seed project Gaalskag. This is simple punk inspired second wave black metal in the early Bathory vein with noise and industrial

bits scattered to and fro. You may want to turn the bass up, as this is a very trebly affair. Avantgard credentials are firmly established here, along with cvlt status. Violates many graves. Rapes many nuns and priests. Satan laughing, spreads his wings.

MDF Report - Day Three

I awoke in the motel with Necro Baby staring blankly from the opposite bed. The final day of Deathfest had come. So far I had seen some pretty sweet bands, but this was the day I signed on for. Mentally, I was preparing for the onslaught of heat and fatigue that was to come by stretching and slathering on sun lotion. I skipped the Kafkaesque breakfast corral for fear that my sanity would drain completely before I ever saw a band. Once again, I made the journey to the heart of monument city

and once again got hopelessly lost searching for this minotaur of metal. When I finally did locate my parking lot the gates were about to open and I rushed out to the freeway underpass, thinking I would

be amoung the first in line, but when I rounded the corner I was disappointed to see the line already stretching over a city block and growing by the second. The time when the gate was supposed to be open passed, then another hour and still I was not really any closer to the front. Time dragged on as we inched agonizingly closer to the fenced egress. I could hear Speedwolf's first tune rumbling fourth from the tent near the entrance. By this time the line was stretching out further than the eye could see, snaking out from the shadow of Interstate 84 into the early afternoon sun. By the beginning of the second song, I was in. Rushing under the canopy where the band was playing to a packed house, I was treated to the first succulent morsel of the day. I was recently introduced to this band by Lars the Berserker and their live set completely exceeded my expectations. The rhythm section was seriously on point, providing a devastatingly simple platform for the Lemmy-worship vocals and 80's style speed metal guitar riffs. Best wake up call I've ever had.

The carnage continued with Cruciamentum , who played some great old school death metal. They started out strong with a blistering version of my favorite track, Fallen In Disease from their Engulfed in Desolation EP. It could have been just my enthusisam for this particular day of the concert, but I thought they were the best straight DM band that played. I was having fun, but my job was about to

get much harder. Across the way, Glorior Belli was starting up, but the Czech death/grind band Contrastic was about to storm the tent. I made my way first to see the the blackened Frenchmen peddle their unholy wares, a hybrid of stoner and black metal (two genres that almost never find common ground.) After the sting of having to miss Aosoth, the raw sounds emanating form the back stage were a soothing balm to my ears. I watched three songs then rushed over to the other side of the grounds where Contrastic were spazzin' out with fury. "Are you ready for our disco metal?" Asked vocalist Putti to the half empty tent. The sparse crowd was a bummer, because this band was really cool, but it was also a blessing as I finally got a chance to rest my dogs for a moment before heading back over to catch the end of Glorior Belli.

I was really excited to see Midnight after sampling some of their tracks on Youtube before my trip and I hope this won't be the last time I cross paths with their filthy blackened thrash. The executioner hoods are a nice touch but this is no gimmick band. You could say they are a newer Venom knockoff and you would be partially right, but these Ohio lads do it with class and a great sounding black metal edge. I would love to see these guys hit GR on their next tour. Pagan Altar is not a band I'm really

familiar with but I really enjoyed their old fashioned 80's style hymns to the elder ones. This band knows how to work the dynamics. Their performance was a time machine and if you closed your eyes, you might even imagine yourself at a 70's hard rock festival with them warming up for Rainbow. As they announced the last song, the crowd began drifting to the middle stage for Sacred Reich. Being one of the only older bands to survive with an intact lineup, I was pretty interesd to see them. They thrashed through tunes from The American Way, Ignorance and the Surf Nicaragua EP. I would have appreciated at least one more song from the oldest days, but it was pretty cool nonetheless.

Manilla Road was at the top of the list of reasons why I came out there in the first place so I grabbed a beer and sandwiched myself into a good spot. A smile spread over my face and the horns were in the air for the next hour as Mark Shelton and crew treated the audience to a good selection of the

band's back catalog, including blazing versions of the two songs I really wanted to hear, The Riddle Master and Lost in Necropolis. I could have listened to them all night, but I felt like i had to check out Integrity over at the tent. Slipping out during the middle of Manilla Road, I popped my head into the tent and got an earful of intense occult hardcore that drew me further and further in, but I just couldn't stay, I had to finish up the set with the Shark and his boys. After two excellent songs from the second Ohio band of the day, I hurried back to catch the last of MR's explosive set. Anticipation had been building all day for Sleep and they were now about to take the stage. The crowd gathered around the main stage in impressive numbers, and the kings of Sabbath worship fired up the spaceship. Now, I don't dislike Sleep, but they have never really done much for me so I hung at the back of the crowd as waves of distortion swept across the ravaged masses. Good set, but somewhat lost on me. 

Soon after the smoke from Sleep's set cleared, the crowd was split in two again as Ascension brought their darkly beautiful style of orthodox black metal across the stage in the tent and doom legends Pentagram lashed the spectators at the opposite end of the festival. Again I rushed back and fourth

between the two, catching The Ghoul and All Your Sins with Liebling and his conglomeration before looking in on the Germans, who played the entirety of thier 2010 album, Consolamentum. I was weary, beaten down and tired but Venom was to be the final band and I intended to check them out at any cost. The show was already running late because Sleep went over on their slot by 20 minutes, so by the time Venom appeared, it was already almost a half hour past their start time. They played every song I wanted to hear though, and everyone was pumped to hear their encore, but the sound got shut off on them. There was violence in the air as some random person got on the mic and told us the show was over. Soon enough, the crowd did what you might expect and tore down the fence, allowing everyone to leave at once. A melee ensued with several security guys surrounded by hundreds of angry metalheads. As I walked out into the frigid spring night cops streamed in from every direction. I leaned against a fencepost and closed my eyes, trying to soak up this moment for all it was worth before the long trek home. 

Until next week, cursed crusaders







Horns

Thus Spake the Nightspirit - Battle Tales and Black Metal EP's

FUCK INTRODUCTIONS!!!!!!!! I'm just going to give you all the lowdown straight-up. 

Emperor-As The Shadows Rise- First thing Demon Scourge said was that this album sounded like crap. NO guitars and the kick drum was too prominent. I took my knife, brandished it his way, and said, "IT'S SUPPOSED SOUND LIKE THAT!!! IT'S CVLT!!! IT'S NECRO!!!!! Then I cut his fucking head off. But really, it does sound pretty bad. The production makes the average Darkthrone album sound like a Bob Rock extravaganza. But the quality of the songwriting and the inhumane ambiance make this album quite worth while. And listening to black metal for the high production values is like listening to Nickleback for the guitar solos. And why listen to Nickleback? I'd rather listen to something recorded by necrofucks in a basement.

 Emperors second EP, Reverence, is basically the sneak preview to their scalding yet sleek classic 'Anthems To The Welkin At Dawn. Gone are the necro production values, showcasing a BIG FUCKING PRODUCTION  to showcase their increasingly symphonic, bombastic soundscapes. It rapes babies, and therefore is the WINNER OF THE NIGHT!!!!!

Chronicles of the North part 11.1 - Stillbirth Machine  

In the darkness of the root level passages, bugs scurry from the light created by the Dio patch on the bottom left flap of the denim jacket. My right hand rests lightly on the embroidered insignia while a pale light emanates from my left. Up ahead I can hear the voices of Fester Blackheart and Ophelia Skullbourne growing closer as I make my way through the crude passage hacked in one of the huge 
underground tendrils that feed the enchanted tree where the T'Chah Karnac have been imprisoned by 

the Wyvern. The passage widens out into a large chamber where I can make out a dim light in the corner illuminating a metal cage with gears inside that attach to an arm that disappears into the cork-like floor. Fester, Ophelia and Hell Wraith are there. I call out to them, "Hai! When will the Garm be running? The Wyvern legion is attacking, it will only be a short time before the rest of the tribe arrives here from Samur." Fester is halfway up the cage, wrenching one of the gears and calls down, "Almost. we need some kind of oil to get this one unstuck." Ophelia is on the ground, securing the iron arm that plunges into the ground to the mechanism that gives it motion. "Almost done here!" Hellmaster comes running from across the root cavern holding a big black bug like the ones that attacked us in Fester's home. "Look, it's a Brentarn! The T'Chah Karnac used to keep flocks of these to make oil during their exile. We can use this to lube the gears!" he says excitedly. He reaches to the rear of the shiny black creature and squeezes a gland on it's lower thorax. Thick yellow slime bursts fourth into the water skin he holds below the struggling insect. When the container is full, he releases the bug. It scurries 
off into the darkened recesses of this underground room. Hell Wraith holds up the oil to fester,who 

squeezes it out over the rusty gears. Looking around at us, he asks, "Now how do we start it?" A quick check reveals no way to start the strange machine. From behind us, a strange voice answers our question, "You need me for that." Wheeling around I behold a six armed human. Small rectangular glasses mount his nose and he wears a scruffy beard on his chin. "I am Parth-Amon, keeper of the Garm. What is your business here?"

Speaking of baby rape, we heard Marduk's charming ep, 'Fuck Me Jesus'. This being somewhat early in their career of evil, it sounds alot like a sloppy Swedish Death Metal album, with black metal influences creeping in. Still it's an amazing little nugget of hellish crossfire.

Abruptum is a band your friends will never like, and their ep, 'Evil' will get you ostracized from your small town community and thrown off a cliff. Along the way, they will flay you with sticks, as this
album's weird, sludgy noisy ambiance flays your trembling earbones. For true loner wierdos only, which makes this album almost fucking PERFECT.

Arcturus are one of the avant gard elite of black metal. Their Ep, My Angel, is a dark angel indeed. Actually,  I don't remember anything about this album. Were there synths? Definitely. And a lot of traditional influences, but it's still a blackened hellhole of burning souls, but with synths.

Chronicles of the North Part 11.2 - Sons of Amon

Hellmaster is perched on a low branch when he sees the first of the sauron battalions approaching. This is a bad place for him. Long ago, before he was Hellmaster of the Time Desert, he was Ka-Taw, 

of the noble Clan Parth who lived along the River Trimpor with the Sauron in the days of the T'Chah 

Karnac. When the Wyvern took control of Samur and made the sauron their elite, his family chose to worship the new gods and lead their people into a life of servitude to the ascendent lizard folk who once were their equals. When Ka-Taw heard of this, he left his home to wander the forbidden lands, learning the secrets of the Time Desert from Bloodmace and making his home in the barren and forbidding wasteland, becoming the feared Hellmaster. He cursed under his breath as row after row of the Wyvern guard marched beneath him in the gloom. They had surrounded the tree where Chanthoth was working his ancient magic in the prison fortress built within it's trunk. From the inky sky above, the sound of great wings heralded the coming of the Wyvern elders. One by one they landed in the open area near the base of the huge sourwood until there were nearly a dozen of the scaly beasts gathered, each one representing a royal family of this realm. Soldiers were climbing, single file, into the entrance of the trunk, but none had so far come out. He turns to dismount from the branch, but stops as a familiar figure stares at him from the branch above, "So, Ka-Taw, you have returned. This shall be your doom, brother." Hellmaster knew this moment would come. His cousin, Sharlen Gort, leaps nimbly down to the lower limb, drawing a jeweled dagger and hisses, "Now you shall pay for your treachery, fool. I'll skin you alive to finish my armor". From deep within the ground, a rumbling shakes the trees.

Polack punishers Behemoth's ep  And The Forests Dream Eternally is a polished little nugget of black metal dynamics. Despite this being their first (non-demo) recording) their ideas and musicianship are fully formed and well rounded. A mythic journey into the hell soul of the now. What?


Immortal's first self titled ep, on the other hand, sounds like a dip they are just dipping their troll toes into the icy waters. Pretty decent black metal, but they won't find their true purpose until Pure Holocaust. That's when the icy fingers molest your frozen soul.

And lastly, Dimmu Borgir's Inn I Evighetens Mørke. Demon Scourge nearly tore out his eardrums at the synthy textures, but I love love love a little cheese to go with my mead and blood sausage. A worthy corpse fuck.

Words of the Elders
The rich black soil of Jenkabala is aflame with the passions of battle. In the treetops, Bloodmace battles the imperial guard, protecting Chanthoth until Demon Scourge, Fester Blackheart, Ophelia Skullbourne and Hell Wraith can start the machine deep within the root caverns below that will transform the power of his spell into a disturbance powerful enough to disrupt the energy flow of the Wyvern magic, thus leaving them vulnerable to attack. The final struggle for control of the northern throne has begun. Evil laughter rides on the wind of mayhem so listen carefully and you will hear the storm as it approaches!


Until next week disciples of the watch,



Horns

Sad Wings of Northern Darkness - Lost in the Time Desert...

The sun beats down mercilessly. Bloodmace swigs at the water skein. Our parched throats are silent and we carry our packs across the burning dessert that separates us from our beloved Jenkabala palace and it’s forest lands. Three days into our journey, we spot a fortress looming on the horizon. This mighty compound, black on the silver sands, belongs to the mighty Hellmaster! Cries of joy explode from our cracked throats. This evil master has crossed our paths before and we know him to be a true metal warrior. His castle is festooned with the heads of posers who have tried to challenge him or stop his plans to dominate this strange region of magic and super-science. Greeted into his realm of gloom by the cloaked druids who inhabit his dungeons, we are ushered into his secret chambers for an audience with the master. Then he lets the bomb drop. Lamb of God. Tonight we journey to the dark side of modern metal and come head to head with a band despised by some and revered by others. Bloodmace passes his judgment…

 

Yeah, it was ok. Basically, Lamb Of God’s 2006 opus, “Sacrament”, already considered a classic of New Wave of American Heavy Metal by disciples of the genre, is a pretty good thrash album in the eyes of Demon Scourge and myself. The obsessive dorkwads at Metal Archives have berated this album needlessly, mainly because of their negative fixation on the application of ‘breakdowns’. Breakdowns are when the music slows into a heavy rhythmic groove, and are as vital to certain genres of metal, such as metalcore, as blastbeats are for death metal. To slag this album for having breakdowns is just ignorant, and displays a form of musical bigotry that should be punished by fire whips. You can like a particular musical form, but still acknowledge its skill and worthiness. Sacrament is a worthy album, but just not my cup of tea.  I find the vocals a little monotonous and screechy. The riffs are well constructed thrash riffs, and are the main positive attribute. It is easy to see where Metallica copped some of these riffs for St. Anger and Death Magnetic.

Laughter echoes throughout the dank chambers of castle Thrashstone. The master is pleased with Bloodmace’s final word on his champions. Glasses of fine ale are raised and the screams of prisoners reverberate from the walls of Hellmaster’s sanctuary. He orders the druids to lend us his battle steeds and provisions for the remainder of our arduous journey through his infernal realm. Bloodmace has not yet finished though. Climbing to the highest battlement of the darkest tower of this bastion of power, he pulls from his satchel a magic item he has been concealing from even me. Holding his enchanted sword to the sky, this master of the macabre harnesses the very wind that blows cold and icy at the top of Jenkabala Mountain. Snow begins to fall, now a flake, now a blizzard. Through the inter-dimensional portal a terrible scream penetrates the darkness and Bloodmace tosses the shiny object high into the angry sky. Then we hear another sound, quiet at first, then growing louder and more violent. Immortal had arrived.

The winner of the night was clearly Immortal’s Sons of Northern Darkness. Fuck Fuck Fuck!!! What an epic motherfucker of ice sculpted brilliance and power. The blizzard beasts leave behind the pure black metal sounds of previous albums for a slightly more death metal infused attack, creating riffs and rhythms that speak to a new pantheon of icy terror.  This is one of the greatest metal albums of all time. This is the one that made me finally made me throw aside any allegiance other than to true metal. This album is heavier than Jesus Christ and Odin sacrificing pumas on the altar of Satan. The atmosphere of cold will leave you with a deep shiver that binds your soul and makes ice boulders spray out your ass. All of this coming at your through a wall of sound, though sounding like the hooves of a 10,000 hell steeds, constructed by a mere corpse painted power trio. This album will make you power orgasm through the top of your skull for seven days. Judgment has been passed. We highly recommend it.

In time the heat returns, the sky clears and Hellmaster sends us on our way with our spirits restored and our path cleared of danger by his metallic ravens. Bidding us a mighty farewell as we race towards the reddening horizon and our forest home, our fearsome host shakes the very ground with his bellowing laughter. His voice is a warning to some, a call to arms for others. This realm we inhabit is a fearsome place where life can turn to death in a matter of seconds and enemies cloak themselves with smiles but for us, Castle Thrashstone will always be an oasis of truth in a sea of lies. So ride on metal warriors, you can’t win without a fight. Battle on metal brethren, like glass you shall shatter the night!