Destructor - Exciter Night and a Lake Chawa Challenge

Admit it.....you are weak. You might have heard Exciter before, and dismissed them as some cheesy Canadian speed metal band not worthy of the attention gobbed upon the big 4 (Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer, and Anthrax). Hell, you thought they were not even worthy of the second and third waves(Testament, Forbidden, Overkill, Violence, ect). But you were weak, not worthy to even hold their studded leather gauntlets. You failed to recognize greatness when it was thrust in your face, when it held a stiletto switchblade to your throat after bashing down your front door. So come, reevaluate, and grow stronger, you pale, tepid wimp!

Exciter's first album, Heavy Metal Maniac, was a milestone for OTT heavy metal circa 1983. The Judas Priest worship is evident, and the wall of sound production values stick out the most. There is speed here, but old school style; not exactly thrashy, but more in the style of Raven and Motorhead.  Lyrical themes are basic heavy metal themes of overheated masculinity and aggression. Not a whole lot of dynamics, but the clamoring thunder makes for consistent headbanging experience. Perfect music for driving down the road in your Chevy Nova, switchblade tucked safely in denim vest, ready to fight, ready to fuck, ready to strike back at the world!

 The Adventure in Samur Part 1.1 - Delivering to the Master

The land between Jenkabala and Samur is rocky and desolate. We had passed two nights following Duchess VonDoom from the scene of the fierce battle in Jenkabala through the pallid foothills that make up the southernmost part of the Samurian territories. I am joined by those mystics of our group who I could locate for this adventure; Vorthon the Whip of Fate, Fester Blackheart, Ophelia Skullbourne, Hellmaster and Lady Deathcrush. Frostor the Bounty Hunter has also decided to accompany us on our travels, as he has business in the Samurian territories. We have been following the mining trail into the ore-rich region of Lake Chawa, Where Parthon the Younger had become Iron Dan. The maccati that we ride upon are the common mode of transport in this icy region. Standing a head taller than any of us, their long tan fur hangs almost to the ground. The short neck terminates in 

an elongated, hairless face containing a mouthful of vicious looking fangs and two sets of eyes, one at the front and one at the sides. Our party crosses an old-fashioned stone bridge and the Duchess motions for us to stop to give the maccati a drink. She leaps down from her mount and draws a small flask from a pocket of the denim vestment. With a nod, she offers it to me, speaking for the first time that day, "Not too much farther now. Can you locate Bloodmace yet?" I reach back with my left hand and feel the embroidery of the Ghost patch on my right shoulder, but I hear and see nothing. Shaking my head, I reply, "Nothing. Nothing yet anyway. He took quite a spill from the top of that sourwood tree and with all that energy flyin' around, he could be anywhere now." She furrows her brow and looks to the sky, "No, he is close. I know it." I take a long pull from the leather covered crystal flask as she continues, "At lake Chawa we'll ditch the maccati and continue by motor. The magic is strong around Chateau Kivilinake where Mistress Crowbastard guards the gates of Narn. Luckily, I have a tauriat so we can detect the dimensional traps she has laid for the unsuspecting soldiers of Headron." Duchess VonDoom swings back up on her maccati and we all take to our mounts and gallop off, leaving only a cloud of frozen soil and pulverized moss behind.

A couple years later, it's Long Live The Loud, and the formula has not changed at all; it's still all high speed, high vocals, and high intensity, screeching and clamoring as if Ride The Lightening had not been released, still clinging to their NWBHM roots.This is a band that will stubbornly cling to its old school sound for the rest of its existence. You don't experiment with the base elements, you make weapons from them.

The Adventure in Samur Part 1.2 - Swords of Darkness

We arrived at Lake Chawa the next morning. The air was crisp and the sky was clear. The lake stretched to the horizon before us from our vantage point at the top of the ridge that leads down to the beach. We leave our maccati and continue down the trail single file. Duchess VonDoom signals for us to stop. With a complicated series of hand gestures, she opens a passage into the side of the steep hill and we continue into the interior. After a long, curving descent, the rough passage ends inside a large chamber containing a pool of water. Above, light filters in through vine-choked openings in the stony vault. A sudden revving, loud and boisterous disrupts the calm atmosphere and we whirl around to find Duchess VonDoom's transport commandeered by none other than Iron Dan. He rolls from the sub-cavern, where the vehicle was hidden, on to the floor across from us. He shouts, "You'll go 

nowhere without me, VonDoom!" Then, pointing at me, "You owe me for the cleansing of this one's spirit! You know what he did don't you? He slaughtered his friends and allowed for Headron to gain a foothold in Centon. I got the job direct from Bloodhammer, but things didn't go as he planned. Now we gotta destroy this one or you gotta pay me off to forget I ever saw you." The Duchess replies, "Get out. Your friends in the tents by the shore would be interested to know what you do with all the power they have taught you to use. This world is changing, Iron Dan and even the vrilforce of the Samurian mystics cannot stop us." She begins to make spellsigns and Iron Dan's warglove glows red, but from above we hear something over the din of the rattling engine. Bloodmace falls through the roof, showering us with smashed rock as he lands on Iron Dan's back, screaming out, "Daaaaannnnnn!" The two pummel one another with magic fist and enchanted mace until the cries of anger become hearty laughter. Iron Dan breaks out his skein of light ale and passes it around, almost in tears from laughter, and says, "Alright, well I gotta come with you anyways. I haven't seen Crowbastard in forever." He glances at his barbarian buddy and begins to crack up again while the rest of us look at one another, completely puzzled by the strange camaraderie between Iron Dan and the fearsome Bloodmace.

A few years later. It's 1992, and Exciter's 6th full length album, Kill After Kill, has no right to exist at all, but there it is, defiantly old school, leather gauntlets spit shined and polished. If anything, the only concession to (relative)modernity is the relentlessness of the attack. Exciter is a band defined not so much by the distinctiveness of song craft than it is by its instantly recognizable wall of sound, and this album exemplifies their approach to the hilt. You want balls to the wall speed metal. Look no further. This was the winner of the night for me, though I believe Demon went with the first album. But really, we were much to wasted to remember.

Words of the Elders
And so another chapter in the saga begins. What secrets will Bloodmace and Demon Scourge uncover on their quest to the northernmost province of Centon? Have they truly been deceived by Chanthoth and their father, Bloodhammer? If so, to what end have they perpetrated this scheme? This frozen tundra holds mystery and intrigue in its icy plains that terminate in the great Kradiken Socrat, the so called "Roof of Centon." There, Mistress Crowbastard awaits in her basalt fortress, dead and yet dreaming. Veil of snow, be lifted! O vast flatland, expose your dim blue heart to these travelers! Alabaster tower of the north open! Open! Avegnon Matresse! T'Arn!

Until next week, heavy metal maniacs,







Horns