The sun beats down mercilessly. Bloodmace swigs at the water skein. Our parched throats are silent and we carry our packs across the burning dessert that separates us from our beloved Jenkabala palace and it’s forest lands. Three days into our journey, we spot a fortress looming on the horizon. This mighty compound, black on the silver sands, belongs to the mighty Hellmaster! Cries of joy explode from our cracked throats. This evil master has crossed our paths before and we know him to be a true metal warrior. His castle is festooned with the heads of posers who have tried to challenge him or stop his plans to dominate this strange region of magic and super-science. Greeted into his realm of gloom by the cloaked druids who inhabit his dungeons, we are ushered into his secret chambers for an audience with the master. Then he lets the bomb drop. Lamb of God. Tonight we journey to the dark side of modern metal and come head to head with a band despised by some and revered by others. Bloodmace passes his judgment…
Yeah, it was ok. Basically, Lamb Of God’s 2006 opus, “Sacrament”, already considered a classic of New Wave of American Heavy Metal by disciples of the genre, is a pretty good thrash album in the eyes of Demon Scourge and myself. The obsessive dorkwads at Metal Archives have berated this album needlessly, mainly because of their negative fixation on the application of ‘breakdowns’. Breakdowns are when the music slows into a heavy rhythmic groove, and are as vital to certain genres of metal, such as metalcore, as blastbeats are for death metal. To slag this album for having breakdowns is just ignorant, and displays a form of musical bigotry that should be punished by fire whips. You can like a particular musical form, but still acknowledge its skill and worthiness. Sacrament is a worthy album, but just not my cup of tea. I find the vocals a little monotonous and screechy. The riffs are well constructed thrash riffs, and are the main positive attribute. It is easy to see where Metallica copped some of these riffs for St. Anger and Death Magnetic.
Laughter echoes throughout the dank chambers of castle Thrashstone. The master is pleased with Bloodmace’s final word on his champions. Glasses of fine ale are raised and the screams of prisoners reverberate from the walls of Hellmaster’s sanctuary. He orders the druids to lend us his battle steeds and provisions for the remainder of our arduous journey through his infernal realm. Bloodmace has not yet finished though. Climbing to the highest battlement of the darkest tower of this bastion of power, he pulls from his satchel a magic item he has been concealing from even me. Holding his enchanted sword to the sky, this master of the macabre harnesses the very wind that blows cold and icy at the top of Jenkabala Mountain. Snow begins to fall, now a flake, now a blizzard. Through the inter-dimensional portal a terrible scream penetrates the darkness and Bloodmace tosses the shiny object high into the angry sky. Then we hear another sound, quiet at first, then growing louder and more violent. Immortal had arrived.
The winner of the night was clearly Immortal’s Sons of Northern Darkness. Fuck Fuck Fuck!!! What an epic motherfucker of ice sculpted brilliance and power. The blizzard beasts leave behind the pure black metal sounds of previous albums for a slightly more death metal infused attack, creating riffs and rhythms that speak to a new pantheon of icy terror. This is one of the greatest metal albums of all time. This is the one that made me finally made me throw aside any allegiance other than to true metal. This album is heavier than Jesus Christ and Odin sacrificing pumas on the altar of Satan. The atmosphere of cold will leave you with a deep shiver that binds your soul and makes ice boulders spray out your ass. All of this coming at your through a wall of sound, though sounding like the hooves of a 10,000 hell steeds, constructed by a mere corpse painted power trio. This album will make you power orgasm through the top of your skull for seven days. Judgment has been passed. We highly recommend it.
In time the heat returns, the sky clears and Hellmaster sends us on our way with our spirits restored and our path cleared of danger by his metallic ravens. Bidding us a mighty farewell as we race towards the reddening horizon and our forest home, our fearsome host shakes the very ground with his bellowing laughter. His voice is a warning to some, a call to arms for others. This realm we inhabit is a fearsome place where life can turn to death in a matter of seconds and enemies cloak themselves with smiles but for us, Castle Thrashstone will always be an oasis of truth in a sea of lies. So ride on metal warriors, you can’t win without a fight. Battle on metal brethren, like glass you shall shatter the night!
Excellent blog once again. I liked the music (finally had the time to check one out entirely).
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