Metal Night rolls along like a freight train, like an avalanche of knives, like your mother after the orgy. Nothing stops this beast. Not even the worst of hangovers. Let's get to the music.
some choice Australian
Next, we heard the unfortunately monikered Parkway Drive, whose 2010 album, Deep Blue, surprised me with a solid slab of metalcore. Hardcore style vocals over solidly structured metal riffs are what is served up here. The breakdowns are pleasing enough for the more traditional metal minded head, as they veer off into dissonant and sometime doomy directions. Metalcore is not exactly my cup of tea, but it did not annoy me at all. This takes elements of bands like Integrity and Earth Crisis, shreds it up, and spits it back in a way enjoyably catchy and always metal as fuck.
Into the Necro Lands Part 12.1 - Gates of Misery
The passage beneath Castle Sekran had
been walled up for ages. Indeed, even the aged necromancers who sit
on the council of elders, cannot point out their location. These damp
and profane caverns predate the castle and city by untold millennia,
stretching out under sand and rock for great distances and in modern
times are used by Necro Baby and her elite force of beast warriors to
carry out raids and assassinations in remote areas of Centon.
Bloodmace and I found ourselves here by way of a map given to us by
Sauntra, scrollkeeper of Narn. Sent here to Meet us by Chanthoth,
last of the T'Chah Karnac, she instructed us to proceed this
direction to place the sigil Chanthoth gave to us within the castle
so as to affect the magical defeat of Necrobaby when the moment came.
Entering by way of a hidden passage in a closed sewer, we made our
way through the darkened stone tunnel with a dim lantern of halo bugs
illuminating our surroundings. On through the slick passages we
traveled, weaving our way
between a forest of stalagmites.
Eventually, we came to the shore of an underground lake. The weak
light from our lamp was inadequate, but I could tell we had entered a
huge chamber. We walked along the shore in silence, listening to the
splashes and weird croaks emitted by hidden dwellers in this world of
endless night. After a time, we reach the castle wall. We search for
an area where flaming red beetles creep about and after much
scouring, the iridescent creatures lead us to a certain rock. When I
overturn the unremarkable stone over to see if there is some sort of
clue to where this door we were searching for was located, a
startling creaking sound puts us on our guard. There is a loud crack
and a concealed door opens nearby. Cold air rushes out from the small
aperture before us. Turning to Bloodmace, I say, "Well, this is
it. Us and all of Castle Sekran." My brother replies quickly,
"Destiny calls." A smile spreads across his grim face as he
brandishes his mace and sips quietly through the open door.
Into the Necro Lands Part 12.2 - Shake the World!
When we finally reach the end of the
long corridor, I kneel down and open a trap door in the floor. At the
bottom of a steel staircase, lit by a dim incandescent bulb, an iron
door is set into the wall. We both try to open it, but it's stuck.
Finally, by using all our might, we force the heavy portal inward. A
great clattering disturbs the quiet and looking around, we appear to
be in some sort of supply closet. We freeze and listen for footsteps,
moving only after many moments of unbroken silence. Bloodmace peers
out into the corridor and motions for me to move ahead. I sprint
quietly down the drab cement hallway, ducking into a doorway and
motioning Bloodmace past me. I am starting to worry about how easy
this all is when my brother begins gesturing wildly. "This is
the place,' He whispers excitedly, "right through this doo..."
His words are cut off as we both detect someone on the other side of
the door. We dive into a darkened room just in time. The door bursts
open and two high ranking necromancers in their dress uniforms stride
out, speaking boisterously in their language. I can't make out
everything, but they seem to be discussing an attack on some sort of
sea fort. My adrenaline is running high as we sneak through the empty
dressing room and into the inner sanctum of Necro Baby. Plush carpets
muffled our steps as we moved cautiously down the thin wallpapered
hall behind the throne where, even now, Necro Baby slumbers. At the
center point in the hallway, directly behind the titanic child of
evil, I cut a discreet slit in the thick carpet and slide the coin
under as far as I could. We hastened towards the dressing room again,
but surprised two nobles changing their shoes. Blood spattered the
walls as Bloodmace silenced them. I sought to hide the bodies to at
least give us some time but a strangled cry from behind us sent us
running into the hall. I could already hear footfalls in the hallway
as we turned into the closet and made for the safety of the
underground passages. The door sealed shut and we started on our way
along the shore of the underground lake. Just then lights came on
from everywhere and from the water, Necro Baby rose, hissing and screeching. Running at full bore, we head for the exit, undead in hot pursuit. "Get those Jenkabala bassssstards!" The terrifying infant shrieks. Bloodmace tosses a shock ball behind us, witch splatters a couple of our foes, but fails to collapse the tunnel. "Hope they didn't have any plans to keep this way secret!" Bloodmace shouts as we smash down the delicate wood that blocks the entrance to the passage inside an unused sewer. We rush up to street level and make a mad dash for the docks where we are to meet our contacts. Getting closer, we can tell clearly that something is wrong. Several boats are on fire, flames licking up masts and sailors in dinghies heading for shore, but in the flickering light of the blaze, I could see a massive warship, cannons blazing. Necromancers streamed out of the castle on their fearsome black steeds and fought the strange, amphibious men who were attacking their town. My brother and I ducked out of the
chaos but were immediately accosted by a human with gray hair and a close cropped beard. His flamboyant sequined jacket sparkled with the flames of battle, eyes glowing with madness. Through his laughter, the dashing pirate barks out orders to his amphibious mates, "Those are the ones, seize them! I'll fortify the sanctum on the price of their heads!" The bug eyed henchmen quickly throw a large slimy membrane over us. Through the strange bag that sweeps us down the hill I can see the outline of Necro Baby approaching. just as the jumbering shape is upon us however, there is a dull crash and a high pitched scream. "That should hold her off for a bit boys, now to the boat with these scurvy dogs! These undead scum will look back with shame on the day they decided to fuck with us!" Looking down at us with eyes like hot coals, he chortles, "Bildorf the mad owns all of the ocean, including this shitty town. You'll see, fools, you'll see."
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bit of the grunge and there is more of a sheen to the production, courtesy of their new major fucking label. But the sharp riffs and the variety make this an enjoyable listen. First song,
1996's Overnight Sensation is the second best Motorhead album of the 90's. Having ossified into formula by now, the songs all do tend to sound the same, but if the songs are good, then you have a good Motorhead album. If the songs are not so good, well, then you've got roughly half of what Motorhead has been putting out since this album. This is one of the better ones, though not a world beater. Most significantly, this album has "Don't Believe A Word" which just may be my favorite Motorhead song. It's a melancholy little number, not quite a ballad, but Lemmy sings cleanly hear, adding a poignance to the unusually serious lyrics. The rest of the album is a series of head thumping rockers, though the last song, Listen To Your Heart, with it's acoustic overtones, would not sound out of place on an Urge Overkill album.
Words of the Elders
Takra Sea, home to Varan and Ixtar!
Tarka Sea, bleak and icy waves concealing a forest of sorrow in its
bosom! The Jenkabala boys have been swept into yet another conflict,
tossed about on the tides of fortune. Kings, yet vagrants, unwilling
sorcerers. Varan! May the sky go black in your forbidden kingdom, you
are a rascal! The sky gods will not abide your treachery!
Until next time, ghoulish grimlocks,
Horns
ballsack
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