Bury Me In Smoke - Sludge Metal With Lady Steel

Sludge Metal. Pyramid Scheme Metal. Hipster metal. Odd that sludge is the metal of choice for the hipster elite, but it can be quite accessible, and is a good platform for your uber-avant-gardness(though I find black metal better suits that kind of weirdness). I find quite a bit of it too repetitive, and not in the way I prefer. But the sludge I do like, I like alot. It is the bass guitar of metal genres: easy to play, hard to play well. Also, chicks seem to like it, as Baroness Steel had joined us for our sonic adventuring.

Let us explore.

First, we heard a band from the hipster Mecca itself: Portland, Oregon. Witch Mountain are a female fronted band and South Of Salem is their latest slab of bluesy sludge. This was the easily the most accessible band we heard. No troll gruntings here, lead singer Uta Plotkin has a smooth siren wail, recalling Robert Plant at times, reminding one of Fleetwood Mac at others. This is catchy, but most importantly heavy. Worthy of many repeat listens. Your girlfriend may even dig this. They are not reinventing the genre, but do familiar Sabbath things things very well, with a couple surprises.

Saga of the Gatemaster part 9.1 - Steeler

Lady Steel stared out the tower window of Keep Trawston. She had been watching the progress of four travelers on the backs of their theeba all morning. The lizard-borne party inched closer across the floor of the Trawston plains as the sun reached its mid-afternoon zenith. Turning to the priestesses behind her, she speaks in a smooth baritone, “Our guests are almost here. Let us greet them appropriately.” The hooded women nod in silent agreement and each take an ornately carved

broadsword from the rack on the wall behind them. Exiting Lady Steel’s private chamber, the group traverses the long stairway that leads to the keep’s large courtyard. Today is market day at Keep Trawston and merchants have come from all over Waylor to sell their wares at the region’s largest free market. All move quickly aside when they catch sight of the fearsome warriors crossing the crowded square. The gatekeepers rush to swing open the special door, carven with ancient symbols that is only used by Lady Steel and her minions. The women stride
purposefully across the grounds to the stable where they mount their theeba and gallop off in the direction of Hell Wraith and Baron Lotar.

Our next band, Zoroaster, is more knarly beast, and their 2009 opus, Voice of Saturn, is a psychedelic hellride, Cheech and Chong's weed powered spaceship, an epic jam. Not merely content to jam out stoner riffs and feedback, these weirdos churn out weird ambient jams between lava flows and psychotic chanting. This was one of my favorite albums and in my humble opinion, the winner of Metal Night, though the ladies and I think Demon Scourge were more down with the Witch.

Saga of the Gatemaster part 9.2 – Death or Glory (mostly death)

Baron Lotar was first to spy the lizard-mounted warriors on the horizon and he calls out to the others, “We have company. Get your arms ready, this may be the master of the soil giant we fought yesterday.” Hell Wraith squints at the distance and can just make out five figures astride their theeba. The two parties meet in the shadow of the grey mesa that is capped with the mighty Keep Trawston. Lady Steel rides at the head of her party and as she approaches Hell Wraith at the head of his, she

bids her scaly steed to stop and pushes the cowl from her head, revealing her sleek, aquiline features and variegated green flesh. Behind her, her priestesses have formed the sign of the star with their swords. Hell Wraith addresses their fearsome leader first, “I am Hell Wraith of the Time Dessert. Have you come from Keep Trawston?” With a slight guffaw of disbelief, Lady Steel takes stock of Hell Wraith, Lotar and the tyrant’s soldiers. “I am Lady Steel of Keep Trawston. Your mission is no secret to me, nor is the identity of your friends. It is dangerous indeed to travel with a despot in a free land; his enemies may be hiding everywhere.” She shoots a knowing look at Baron Lotar, who shifts uncomfortably even as his guards ready their weapons. “Bloodmace has communicated his will from the realm of demons. You are to come with me to my home. We leave for Mount Tarvo at dawn. The painter Moloch is already waiting to join us at Keep Trawston.” As she speaks, her companions dismount and stand to her side, still holding the swords in their mystical formation. “Before you can enter this keep, you must pass through the center of these swords. It is our custom.” Hell Wraith is the first to have the swords lowered over him, then Baron Lotar. The acolytes approach him and the sword star begins its descent from the top of his head. When they get down to his neck however, the star tightens into a steel noose. Lotar’s henchmen rush to protect him but are repelled by Lady Steel. Opening her left hand, she reveals the eye in the center of her palm. The burly, boar-headed humanoids are helpless, held in thrall by the unblinking green eye. Steel turns to Lotar, “You have no power here, tyrant. This is a free land and any attempts to threaten the refugees from your evil kingdom will bring dire consequences for you. We have a mission to awaken our lords from the realm of death. I suggest you keep your mind on this task. Release him.” Lotar falls to the ground with a gasp, as do his soldiers. Lady Steel and her entourage bound off on their well rested theeba and the green warrior calls over her shoulder, “Use the smaller door on the west wall, my attendants will be waiting for you and hurry, we eat before sundown!”

At last, we moved onto uber-hiptser drone band Sunn O)))). Sunn are one of those bands whose inclusion to your collection always adds hipster points(whatever the fuck that is worth), but are rarely ever listened to. If someone tells you they listen to this band all the time, they are liars. But I will make an exception for this album, Monoliths and Dimensions . It is easily their most accessible album. You have the same droning power chords, but there are layers built here, constructed from sound effects, horns, and even a choir. More akin to some of John Cage's more grinding moments. An avant-gard masterpiece, but not as good of a metal album as the previous.

Words of the Elders

Keep Trawston! Bastion of freedom in this cruel, sun beaten land where magic rules and savagery is a way of life. It is said that Lady Steel was born of the bloodline of dread Mount Tarvo, sprung from the same sandy loam that propagates the hearty vegetation thriving in this arid clime. Sister to Bloodmace and Demon Scourge, bringer of death to titan and tyrant! Chaos sweeps down the plains from the black and grizzled peaks where her grandfather sleeps, dreaming always of his revenge. Now others have come, called by her brother’s feud in the dime desert, others who seek to resurrect Bloodmace and Demon Scourge to stop the destruction they set in motion when the dimensional fabric was ripped during their battle. Hasten to arms, warriors of rose and sand! It is this land that calls to you with blood!

Until next week heshers,

horns