Tech Death Therapy 2014

A few brief words on some lengthy tomes of hatred and pain, fresh out of the oven that is heated by hell. All of these were released this year, but you, oh, sinner, shall be damned to the flames for all time!!! Not that I thought you really minded. Now onto the tunes.

Cannabis Corpse-From Wisdom to Baked

This was clearly the winner of the night as it was the most entertaining. Cannabis Corpse are evolving into a band with an actual sound of their own, not just one that is apes old school bands like C.C. or Gorguts. They are also catching up in terms of technical proficiency and deft songwriting. These are some fucking cool, sick jams. But the thing that still distinguishes them from everyone else in death is the pure genius of the lyrics. Every song still replaces weed weirdness for the usual brutal death tropes and is always hilarious and always surreal. Best single song is Pull The Carb, about using a decapitated corpse as a bong. Most amazing lyrical endeavour is the the three song Lovecraftian mini-opera. It's a good album to lose your mind to as you spin further and further into the obscene hell of THC addiction.

Voodoo Gods-Anticipation For Blood Leveled In Darkness

Cannibal Corpse's George 'Corpsegrinder' Fischer is the best death metal vocalist in the world. No one can equal his brootal roar complimented by razor sharp ultra fast delivery, spitting out complicated lyrical phrasing with the deftness and flow of an Eminem and the spitfire delivery of the best ultra-fast hardcore. He is also know to join the occasional super group. Voodoo Gods are a melodic yet brutal technical death band made up of death metal veterans that craft highly dynamic songs with a double vocal attack. Lyrically, it's all about voodoo, yo. Musically, it's a fist up your ass, they way you like it, with a little bit of lube and lots of sand.

 Pillory-Evolutionary Miscarriage

Pillory is an ultra technical death band in the Gorguts vein, with a little Cynic thrown in for good measure. 1000 riffs are thrown at you at once while the band attempts to impress the shit out of you with their thick stew of chunky bits and razor blade riffs. It's a commendable, if tedious listen, as these really smart dudes simply forget about songwriting. Sooo many riffs. A few of them are pretty good.

Until we kill you again. Hailz!!!

War All The Time And Some Of The Time: New Directions in Chaos!!

Bloodmace here. In order to keep this blog more active, I am going to start posting more reviews of random shit, whether it happens at Metal Night or not. I will try and cover all the albums that play at Metal Night, that's if I have anything interesting to write about them. The big posts, with the story, the video, and the pictures, are going to come out about once a month. We will not be covering every Metal Night with every post. That is simply too much fucking work. But we want to keep posting regularly because we have built quite a following over the last few years and we don't want to lose that because...well....just because. We don't intend on turning this blog into anything other than what it is....the chronicle of a couple doods and some friends who get together once a week and listen to some fucking metal.

So, Demon Scourge and I got to together and listened to the new Mayhem album. Yes, that Mayhem. Not the 70 other bands on Metallum that go by that name. Esoteric Warfare is very much a "stadium black metal" album, not a murky lo-fi necro fest. The guitar tones are massive and clear, the bass is audible and the drums are crisp and powerful. The riffs and rhythms are twisty and twisted, the songs are exploratory and tinged with prog, but always return to fuck you in the face with Satan's dark power. The influence of Watain is written all over this and one could criticize them for straying to far from their evil roots, but you might risk pissing off Hellhammer, who has killed before. Better shut your fucking mouth.


We also took in the latest slice of violence from New Zeeland war metal purveyors Diocletian. Gesundrian is what Blasphemy might sound like if recorded by Bob Rock. It is surprisingly well recorded and rendered in a digital clearness, but unrelenting wall of aural fucking death, punctuated by great riffs and inhuman drumming. No surrender, no mercy, nothing subtle, and few dynamics, other than the slow grinding crawl of the first track and a few sparse moments scattered throughout the album. But these are not exactly gentle interludes. These Kiwis give you the punishment you crave, the ass kicking you deserve.


To round out the filth, I am adding this deathly panzerfuck from Swedish band Omnizide. Their new album, Death Metal Holocaust, is a splendid jerkfest of blackened indecency and old school death metal sickness. A dash of Immolation and Incantation, a hint of the classic Swedish Death sound, some gargle, screechy necro vocals, and even some D-beat here and there make this an entertaining grab sac of maggoty delights. The song Crystals of Death, with its catchy old school Swedish riffery, is the best track. I could stab many a face to it.


 And that's all from now. Now off to frolick in the Necrolands. Horns!!!!!

Slaqughtering Void - Brutal Death Metal on the Island of Va

Let's me tell you about your fuckin' execution..........IT'S GONNA BE BRUTAL!!!!! No subtlety, no nuance, no pleasure. This will be about pulling your fuckin' intestines through your ripped pussy. Don't have a pussy? Well,  your ass pussy that I JUST FUCKED WITH A RAZOR DILDO will do just fine!!! There ain't gonna be no open coffin funeral motherfucker cuz there ain't no coffin. There is only the MAGGOTY MASS BURIAL in my basement. So let's load up the Winamp with some tunes, cuz it's BRUTAL DEATH METAL NIGHT AT JENKABALA!!!!!!!!!!

Krisiun's Conquerors of Armageddon is the sound of of the vanquishing of enemies, the personification of the forces of darkness reigning triumphant of over the battered shell of the earth as demons rape the angels in Satanic glory. It is unrelenting hellfire and brimstone. It is unrelenting fury. It's a pretty cool album, and a death metal classic, and along with bands like Nile and Cryptopsy, part of the ultra brutal wave of death metal influenced by the lightening speed of black metal, It was a much needed kick in the pants to the increasingly sluggish death metal scene. The thing that sets Krisiun above the rest is the clarity of attack, every riff crystal clear and devastating, but very rarely slows down, completely unrelenting. Nearly every beat is a blast beat. Everything is demonic fury. One may argue that makes this makes for somewhat one dimensional music. It is what it is. It is a literal wall of noise and a lesson in tasty riff craft.


 Adventure in Samur Part 7.1 - Tales of Mystery

The shore of the island Va, in the great Spirit Lake of Narn, was gleaming white in the dull afternoon light. Our craft maneuvered through the jungle of salt formations jutting up through the greenish water as we approached land. Lars the Berserker's longboat slid on to the alabaster beach and we climbed out at the rocky cliff face that rose up precipitously from the gently sloping beach. From above, Mistress Crowbastard glides down in her bird form. As the black crow stretches out its wings 

to land, she takes human form. "We must find the cave of lights," she intones, stretching out a black tipped finger in the direction of the cliffs. Lars nods, dismisses the phantom oarsmen and answers, "I know the place, Iron Dan comes this way often and he has shown me the cave himself." The fur clad Berserker leads us down the beach for a time, then we make our way between two boulders into the bottom of a canyon. Even though the blizzard was blowing with full force again, it was warm in the rocky passage and flowering vines covered the rocky walls that surrounded us. We walked single file down this strange grotto until Lars took a sharp turn into a stone staircase that led into the cliff. Our footfalls softened on the mossy carpet inside the cave and the air was damp and sweet. From the ceiling hung fine, glassy stalactites that lit the way with a purple glow. as we approached the end of the passage, the smell of cooking reached us first, then the sound. Echoing off the walls we could just barely discern the tune of the classic chant, In league with Satan.

Next, we heard Skinless' first album, 1998's Progression Towards Evil. At this stage in the game, Skinless is your basic cookie cutter brutal death metal band in the Suffocation and Cannibal Corpse mode. Deep guttural vocal slices, down tuned guitar work. This is not a technical masterpiece, and their charm lies in the (forgive me) blood and guts; deep guttural vocal slices, deep down tuned guitar work, and a few slam breakdowns here and there. Songs like 'Tampon Lollipops' and 'Fetus Goulash' bring the lulz, with lyrics like:

"Ralph the janitor enjoys his job 
He sweeps and mops up the garbage and crud 
While alone at night he searches for goodies 
He goes into every room hoping 
and praying that someone is flowing 
Discarded plastic applicators in the bathrooms 
left behind by fertile young chicks."

These dudes care not for life. Their later material is tighter and more polished, but still cookie cutter stuff. You'll either love it or hate it.


Adventure in Samur Part 7.2 - Power of Hunter

We entered the place through a small opening at the end of the faintly luminescent tunnel. It was a huge cavern with an opening to the sky at the center. Dwarfed by the massive scenery, we made our way in the direction of the voices. We passed through a series of paths that led us down into the jungle of ghostly white salt deposits until we came to the shore of a small lake directly under the aperture on the ceiling. There, waiting for us to arrive was Parthon the Elder, father of Iron Dan. He 

stands among the low, scrubby brush we see everywhere near the gently lapping water. Though white, his hair maintains a sprightly curl that accentuates his cherubic face. His robes are white and there is a thick rope tied around his waist. He motions to us and begins to speak, "Hello all! Hello Lars" The stern tribesmen nods solemnly. "Ah yes, I know of your village. Be strong son, we are walking the last miles now" His hand reaches out to grasp the Berserker's shoulder. Now he turns to us, "Can you smell the Tot? My minions are cooking it as we speak. Soon the Memporian will rise to eat it and we must be there so that the four of you can transport to Dantor and finish this battle once and for all. Come, come let us go" We follow the old man to his little boat and cram inside. He hoists the sail and waves his hand. The limp sail fills with phantom wind, propelling us across the lake to a little island in the middle. We climb from the boat to the shore and there, in a gaping fire pit we behold the largest tater tot we have ever seen, golden hide sizzling in the heat of the embers. Bloodmace turns to me and says "We truly have reached the end of this world, brother." 

Necrophagist's Epitath was the winner of the night. While still in the brutal death vein, it is far from cookie cutter. The level of musicianship here is staggering, and when blending in the confines of brutal death with a crystal clear production, the effect is staggering. Crushing riffs and lightening fast guitar solos, tricky rhythmic progressions, this is classical music for headbangers. Amazingly, this album has a polarizing effect on many. Some fault the ultra necro vocalizing, while others find it too highbrow and showy. I find it to be a fully realized masterpiece, an amazing piece of music that also satisfies on a visceral level. If you can handle the necro vocals, this is a rewarding listen.


Words of the Elders
The eyes of Centon have turned north, beyond the peaks of the Kradiken Socrat to the black spritual dimension that is Narn, forbidden gateway to the multiverse. There awaits Headron of Dantor, towering titan of terror. The only thing that can stop him from turning Centon into a resort for intergalactic travelers is the fearless four, armed only with the enchanted battle jackets of their people. The Memphorian has been summoned! Let the horns of battle souind from every dimension!
 
Until next week, mavens of mayhem, 



Horns