Wartime - Doom Metal and the Battle for Jenkabala

We were going to do something a bit different, more of a trollish doom theme, but the band we intended to warm up with, Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats, got us into a Sabbath groove. So it continued through out the night, until human sacrifice, astral projection, and craft beer proved to be the only back through the dark portal. Yup. Uncle Acid is a new band from England and we heard their 2011 opus Blood Lust. Big stoner rock vibe, but without the stems and seeds, mining thick Sabbath riffs and grooves right down to the analog warmth. Vocalist Uncle Acid sounds amiably Ozzy-like, though his vocals are buried in the background. Not big on songcraft, the focus is on groove, feel, and wah-wah, fuzz, and mushrooms. It's a good time doom record, with only a few foreboding bad acid trip-like moments. I liked this album a lot, but it did not win the night.


Chronicles of the North Part 10.1 - The Rite of Darkness

Chanthoth was sitting in the darkness when we reached him in the garden chamber of the tree bound fortress. Bloodmace and I had split our party into three groups,  Hellmaster, Deathcrush, Vorthon, Lotar and Lady Steel together with Frostor  are holding positions outside, near the entrance to this arboreal habitat. Fester Blackheart, Ophelia Skullbourne and Hell Wraith have descended to the root level, seeking the hidden machinery called the Garm. We are here with Chanthoth to cast a spell against the Wyvern that, when amplified by the Garm, will disrupt the power flow of Samur's reptilian rulers. With a warm pop, all the candles placed about the room lighted as we approached the meditating mystic. Without opening his eyes, Chanthoth addresses us."Quickly now, light the 

incense. We haven't much time." Striding rapidly to the other end of the long gallery that served as Chanthoth's garden, I grab a chunk of pink crystal from one of the shelves that line the wall and hold it over one of the candles. I drop the crackling shard into a hollowed out skull and return to my position. Bloodmace has taken his place as well, sitting cross legged opposite the bearded wizard. I placed the skull, now emitting a thick column of fragrant smoke, into the middle of the circle. Chanthoth picks up his guitar and begins to pick out the music. We chant the ancient spell "Harder Than Steel." Outside, we hear the flapping of giant wings. The Wyvern are here. From the great window that runs across the wall opposite us, I can see two of the fearsome creatures peering in. "They cannot enter." I hear our host's voice inside my mind. "Their troops will be on their way up now though. Bloodmace, use the Darkthrone patch. Eyes still closed, the weird magician raises his pick hand and a bolt of energy strikes the lizards at the window, who fall precipitously to the ground with a crashing thud that shakes the forest. From the other side of the room, Sauron and human warriors flood into the sanctuary, surrounding us. I can feel the floor tremble a bit as the organic machinery of the Garm groans into motion. Bloodmace and I share a knowing glance as we put our backs together and prepare to defend our position.

The winner of the night were doom godz Pentagram, and their proper 1985 debut, Relentless. Having been around since the early 70's, Pentagram were one of the first metal bands to run with the sound that Sabbath abandoned in the mid 70's, when they were all snorting massive amounts of cocaine. Founder Bobby Leibling, despite being a massively talented songwriter, took as many drugs as he could afford, getting clean from heroin only a few years ago. Relentless is a full on doom metal album, with a focus on song craft and massive, skull crushing riffs. The songs chug along from slow paced to mid tempo, and the attack is aggressive, like Sabbath on crank. Not many pleasant vibes running through this album. All is darkness and doom. They, along with St. Vitus and Trouble, are the true progenitors of the doom genre and this album is a certified classic, an essential document. Winner of the night. Here's the entire fucking album:


Chronicles of the North Part 10.1 - The Wizard of Ice and Death 

There were twenty soldiers, perhaps more staring at us, weapons drawn. From the back of their ranks a thick, fierce Sauron strode towards us, drawing an ornate Samurian pistol. Chuckling, he pulls back the hammer, "I have not forgotten how you treated our queen in the days just before your first deaths. Hellmaster will be a dead man now, fools." He pulls back the hammer but before he has a chance to shoot, Bloodmace, hand on the Darkthrone patch, unleashes a blast of cold from his mouth with an unholy scream. The Sauron commander's cries are cut short as the wind tears away his flesh, it's icy force shattering chunks of crystallized tissue into green and ruby dust. Panic breaks out in our enemy's ranks as Bloodmace continues to emit a horrible sound though his entire body has been consumed by the howling wind, his physical contour lost in the blinding release of energy. Wyverns are now circling the tree, watching their troops be decimated with a frozen blast. There is one moment of silence as Bloodmace returns to this plane in an empty room, but the clattering and shouting of another group soon fills the air. The voice of Chanthoth comes to me again, "Let your brother handle these clowns. You must get to the root level and help Hell Wraith and Ophelia with the Garm." I turn to communicate this to Bloodmace, but I can see in his smirk that he already knows. He stands defiantly before our foes, fingers just brushing the Scream Bloody Gore patch, and again fear courses through their ranks as one by one torsos burst open with a wet ripping sound, spraying guts over everything. Before the stairs crowd with more victims, I quietly make my exit.

Witchfinder General are almost in that same league, but some unintended goofiness and a fatal sense of juvenalia hindered them from becoming true doom metal gods. Their first album, Death Penalty, with its wonderfully randy album cover, is a crushing document of doom, but lyrically, it becomes a bit embarrassing.

I want a woman 'cos it's a Saturday night
I wanna make her feel alright
I'm going to lay her, do you know what I mean
I really wanna make her scream

Lyrics like these would be laughed off a Spinal Tap album. Still, the vocals are not exactly enunciated with precision, so this is a good one to turn up loud and simply let the majestic riffery take over.  There is a sense of innocence that is always so refreshing when it comes to obscure NWOBHM bands, of which these lads were considered to be on the forefront of the second wave. Ain't a bad record.

Words of the Elders

The battle has begun. For generations the T'chah Karnac have been absent from the stage of history on Centon. Their magic despised, their people imprisoned in the massive tree. Their legacy has been relegated to bard songs and fairy tales, but Chanthoth has survived. The last teacher of the old magic brought here from Earth so long ago. Here is an act of defiance from an enemy who was assumed defeated, crushed into dust. Bloodhammer knew what he was doing when he sent the brothers back to the forests of northern Jenkabala again. Now the sounds of combat fill the air and destiny is knocking at the door. Hail Bloodmace and Hellmaster. Hail to the metal godz! Put their heads on the grinding wheel!

Until next week Morpheus marauders,

Horns

Sorg in the Mourge - The Titans Fight the Gatemaster and We Jam Gorgoroth

 Fucking Gorgoroth, man!

After coming back from the dead, Demon Scourge and myself overdosed on power metal, in a drunken attempt to regain our heroic mojo. After a while, we got bored, and I said, "Fuck that shit! I wanna hear something evil!" So we chose the most evil band we could think of ...... true cvlt Norwegian black metal innovators Gorgoroth.

Notorious in the past few years for the soap opera antics of the Gaalh vs. Infernus name name dispute, after the dust settled, only original founder Infernus remained at the helm. Despite the fine albums Gorgoroth has released in the 00's, the foundation of the band's legacy remains in their first three albums; three slices of ice cold true cvlt Norwegian black metal. That's what we listened to while Satan chortled greedily in anticipation of our charred and blackened immortal souls.

 Saga of the Gatemaster part 13.1 - Awaken the Gaurdian

I opened my eyes as if after a long slumber, but I knew I had not been sleeping.  Sound and light burst upon me in an intense crashing of sensations. The physical and spiritual pain of being stuffed back into a body is excruciating but fortunately, only lasts a few moments. Everywhere around me I heard the sounds of blasting heavy metal. I had finally been called home. A glance at my surroundings revealed that I, along with Bloodmace, Hellmaster, Master Raknar, and Lady DeathCrush were at the bottom of a rocky pit. The music floated down from above us, guiding the spirits of each warrior into its temporal shell. For a few moments there was nothing but silence as we stared at one another in disbelief, but each battle blasted soul knew what we had been called to do. Bloodmace brandishes his weapon as he spits his words at me “So, not even death can stop our battle! Prepare to die fool!” his deadly club swishes past my head. I grasp my sword and prepare to retaliate but the battle is once again interrupted, this time by a shout from the intrepid Master Raknar “Oh shit, get ready people, the Gatemaster is fucking Here!”

First, we heard Gorgoroth's 1994 debut, Pentagram. This is a goddamn fucking righteous slab of black metal, a masterful opening statement. Highly recognized as one of black metal's greatest albums, this album does not disappoint. There are layered sheets of white noise, frenzied tremolo guitar work, and a variety of tempos with an emphasis on fucking fast fucking fuck. Not a lot of experimentation or overt weirdness in the songcraft; this is more of a refinement, an exploration of the essence of black metal. One of the traits that the band has kept throughout the years is the sense of mystique. It started here. There is a special vibe to these songs, a blood curdling one. This is the music of villains and monsters. Winner, in my book.

Saga of the Gatemaster part 13.2 - Anarchy Divine  

Our feud forgotten for the moment, Bloodmace and I turn in the direction of Raknar’s gaze.  From the precipice above, the hideous stone head of the dreaded guardian of the outer dimensions appears. Its beak-like mouth juts fourth from the sleek head, its crystal eyes gleaming from either side.  It hops down from the tall sides of the crater where we are trapped, its powerful legs propelling it down the steep wall. Twice as tall as any of us and formed of rock, it stood upright and lashed out at us with its two sets of small arms and razor sharp beak. Lady DeathCrush waves her hands and with a loud crack, the thing falls for a moment. Bloodmace rushes it from behind and smashes his signature weapon into the massive backbone of the enforcer of temporal boundaries. Enraged, the Gatemaster slashes at Bloodmace with granite claws. I also jump into the fray, deflecting a blow from our unhallowed foe. There seems to be no way to kill this monster. Hellmaster pushes me out of the way as the dimensional defender smashes place where I stood with an impossibly heavy tail that splits the ground near where we stand. Just as we were about to be sent back to the realm of chaos and dreams, the sound of the old hymn “Unstoppable Force”  can be heard echoing down the walls that imprison us. There is life above. Whoever called us, for good or evil ends, was about to show themselves.

 The next album, Antichrist, is somewhat less successful, but still expands on the basic evil premise, The sheets of white noise are toned down for a slightly thicker mid level tone. The balls out viciousness that was so endearing about the first album is toned down somewhat, though the sound and song craft have opened up. Best tunes are the title track and the epic closer, Sorg, a slow paced, epic viking metal track, not unlike what Enslaved were doing at the time. Clean vocals, and some tripped out guitar work make this the most memorable song. Demon Scourge and guest were all about this one. Me not so much. I still think this a fucking brilliant album, though.

Third opus, 1997's Under The Sign of Hell, is slight return to pure corpse fucking Satan worship. Sheets of white noise piled upon riffs both dissonant  and melodic. There is a weird elegance underneath the snarl, a real craft and finesse at last fully realized. Too bad they fell upon the re-recording bandwagon years later, a cheap move that bands do when they are out of ideas and need the cash. Leave the classics alone, you fuckers.

The real deal!


The sorry ass 2011 re-recording.........

Words of the Elders

The stars wheel above us, circling endlessly as they mock our mortal triumphs and travails. There in the inky darkness they dance their ballet of days and wind down into nothingness, mirroring our own spiral into death and yet the flame of hope still burns. Deep inside their movements patterns are nested inside one another, working like gears, but all are driven by the same engine. In survival, there is no death. In death there is no rest. The titans of Centon have returned into the bodies that have been conjured by Vorthon, Hell Wraith, Baron Lotar and Lady Steel but following them is the dreaded Gatemaster, guardian of twilight whose job is to capture or destroy beings crossing the threshold into the nether regions.  Let us raise our voices in song that these guardians of light may save their world of Centon, for it is a most important cog in the working of “reality” on this plane and the ordering of the multiverse in general. Let us sing to the eldest trees and dance with the mother wolf in the sacred grove!  Let us raise our swords in defiance of the posers who crowd the once great Jenkabala that all may know that Bloodmace and Demon Scourge have come to claim their due!

Until next week, mosh maniacs

Horns