Last week, Lady Bloodbird and crew stormed Jenkabala Temple and were totally underwhelmed by the over-rated force that are Warlock. What a stinking pile of crap!!! Here are my brief judgements on each album
Into the Necro Lands Part 8.1 - Signs of Satan
A fire burned brightly in the hearth
inside the Nest of Evil, shadows flitted around the room as the
others in my party recovered from the black spell of depression I
cast using the Mournful Congregation patch given to me by Rangar
before the battle in Narn. I stared out the great circular window in
front of me, gazing at the blanket of stars that covered the sky and
contemplating my dilemma. The enchantment worked to wipe out the
ghoulish regiments who had besieged us while we attempted to liberate
Lady Birdblood's beloved outpost, but there were unintended
consequences. Before me sat my companions, who were each capable
warriors, reduced to a state of listless anxiety that paralyzed them
from within their own minds. I knew it would only be a matter of time
before retaliation came in the form of Necro Baby and Iron James. We
had succeeded in the first battle with help from Chanthoth and his
mystical spell accelerator, the Garm, but now I no longer felt the
rhythm of the legendary machine. As powerful as my own magic was, the
Necro Tribe were not an enemy to be toyed with. Unless I had an idea
soon, they would come and we would die.
Burning The Witches-It was ok. Some good riffs and some songs but the relentless vibrato of vocalist Doro Pesch is grating.
Hellbound-It was crap. Weak riffs, weak songs, bullshit dated production effects. Just crap.
True As Steel- It was crap. Same as above. Just crap.
Into the Necro Lands Part 8.2 - Homicide Rocker
I was lost in contemplation, weighing
our options, when the sound of motorized vehicles drew my attention
back to the window. 'This is it,' I thought to myself, suddenly
filled with panic. I peered out, waiting for the invaders to come
into view. Suddenly, a rusty jalopy launched past the window followed
by another. The cars landed with a great crash, pieces of the bodies
flying everywhere. I grabbed a laser rifle from the rack nearby and
prepared myself for the assault, but when the occupants emptied out
from the battered sedans, my heart raced with joy. It was Skyrock
Cursebringer and the Castle Stonefist cavalry. From the second car,
WarRoc Pain Vessel and Dentra the high priestess emerged. I rushed
out to the door, motioning our friends in from the armored portal.
Greeting the hardcore three, I explain the predicament we find
ourselves in as they warm themselves by the fire. warroc stares
silently into the fire for a few moments, then speaks, "Our time
is short, for even now the people of Stonefist are preparing the
harvested grain for market, but we will help you. Necro Baby must be
stopped, her necromancers have been blocking the trade routes and
attacking our grain convoys all year and with the harvest passed we
must be able to pass through the Necro Lands to deliver our goods to
Samur and points north." Skyrock walks around the room,
examining the fallen warriors. He looks over to me and asks, "This
was the Mournful Congregation patch that did this, is it not?" I
nod my head in the affirmative and add, "Yes with the help of
the Garm." The thin, light-haired chieftain, clad in tight black
denim and animal pelts, begins to draw animal bones from the pockets
of his
garments. With leather straps, he ties one to each of my
ailing compatriots. WarRoc has begun pacing around the room, clearing
a path to mosh in. Turning to Dentra, in her flowing robes and
conical hat, the powerhouse of Stonefist calls out to the priestess,
"The spell, let it be written on the air!" From her spot in
the middle of the room, the diminutive sorceress draws sigils in the
air under the inky fabric that billows out over her hands. From its
hiding spot, a white cat with fiery eyes appears on Dentra's shoulder
and produces a fearsome yowl that startlingly morphs into what I can
only assume is one of the legendary thirteen anthems of Stonefist, a
careening hardcore tune that blisters my ears as WarRoc begins to
mosh. The music and dancing builds to a crescendo then suddenly stop.
The cat returns to its hiding place and Skyrock, beating on a small
drum with one hand, sings a haunting ballad while placing his hand
upon each of the stricken. The song makes the fire leap and dance
with white and purple flames and one by one Bloodmace, Tesa,
Birdblood and the Samurian rebels awake from the depressive curse.The week before, we journeyed to Castle Stonefist, an austere straightedge fortress of renown, to check out some metallic bites of straightedge hardcore .
Have Heart- Songs To Scream At the Sun- It was good but not really metal. Very straightforward, very street, very hardcore, very straightedge, very brief.
Converge-No Heroes. This album was fucking awesome and I do not understand why the sexless shut in metal nerds at Metal Archives exclude them from that site when Dillinger Escape Plan and hordes of other sound alike bands already are. It's a ferocious beast that has several million riffs and jumps around like a crack addicted toddler with Tourette's.
Elysia- Lion Of Judas-It was pretty great. Not all that metal, either.
Words of the Elders
Thus the heroes were saved again by the
mysterious harvesters of Centon's grain. O hundred gods, find favor
with the deeds of these heroes! O Hasyra and Shperon, light the dark
with your golden blades! The winter hornets can still sting in summer
and yet the takka bear sleeps in the day. What is the mystery of the
mournful land of the half dead and almost living and what plans do
they have for the league of heroes?
Until next week, homicide rockers,
Horns
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